Lying? Who me?

I'm taking a creative writing class through community ed. Basically, it's a crap class led by a doddering old guy who worked for the Parks Department before he retired about 350 years ago. He's nice enough, but I can't help but think that the class would be much better if we didn't have this coach who likes to wax poetic about whatever book his book club is currently reading. Last week I almost yelled at him because -- for the second week in a row -- he shared completely untrue facts about "The Diary of Anne Frank" and the house where the families hid. I've been there. I know what I'm talking about. But ... I digress.

I really like the people in the class, and it's fun to hear stories by other writers. I also kind of get off a bit when they tell me how good I am at the 650-word genre. Of course, if I had to stretch it to 1,000 words, I'd probably find myself in a big, stinky mire of molting junk. This week's assignment is to write a piece about "when lying is necessary." This topic got me thinking ... which story to choose? I'm the kind of person who lives in constant fear of hurting other people's feelings. This is probably because I'm also the kind of person who is honest to a fault, so I'm likely to blurt out something completely inappropriate if you ask me my opinion about something. Hence, the dilemma.

My honesty doesn't stop me from lying when I think I have to, but I usually have to limit my lies to telephone conversations or e-mail. My face gives me away every time. It's like I have a big neon sign on my forehead that says, "Smack her! She's LYING!" My many weekends spent grounded from ages 13-16 taught me that I can't lie very well, so I'm better off just admitting when I've fucked up.

So besides the obvious "no, those pants don't make you look like a gargantuan beast with elephantitus of the hips" lies, when else is lying necessary? I know my faithful readers will have some interesting thoughts on this subject, so I challenge you to come up with the most colorful, creative reasons for lying. Help me! My piece is due tomorrow night!